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Here's our third manterview:
Q: Do you like to cook?
Once in a while I like to get creative when the mood strikes and make something delicious because it’s fun and will be delicious, like the bacon explosion [men, we will have a post about this once we come to terms with the fact that such a thing exists], but most of the time cooking is just an unfortunate prerequisite to eating. It sucks that you have to cook before you can eat.
Q: What about cooking do you like?
I like the fact that you can throw in whatever you want and try to anticipate what it’s going to taste like. I guess the thing I like most about cooking is knowing what I like to eat, and working towards that, and being able to make exactly what I like to eat.
Q: What about cooking do you dislike?
The worst part is that you usually do it when you’re really hungry, so everything seems really difficult and it takes a long time. I hate touching gross things like chicken and I hate the fact that anything that goes into the oven takes over an hour and always takes longer than it says it will. I don’t like cleaning up afterwards, which is why I rarely do.
Q: What advice would you give to men who are just starting in the kitchen?
I think most men really like to eat delicious, awesome food, and if you’re cooking you can make whatever you want, like the bacon explosion. So rather than just having boring, chicken-rice-broccoli stuff, you can actually make spare ribs or chicken parm, or the craziest sandwich ever, whenever you want. Also, you don’t have to make everything from scratch; Trader Joe’s has a lot of meals or sides that you can just heat up.
Q: What is your favorite thing that I make?
I like it when you use the slow cooker, most of the time. I like when you make sausage, peppers, and onion sandwiches on the grill.
Q: What is your favorite thing to make?
I like to make sandwiches, especially sandwiches that involve leftovers in some capacity. Sandwiches are awesome because they always taste good and you can put in EVERYTHING. And sandwiches are quick, there’s usually no cooking involved. Or cleanup.
Q: What other ingredients do you like to put in sandwiches?
Hot sauce, chicken products, sliced animals, cheeses, gravies, peppers and onions, bacon, oil and vinegar. Cole slaw is surprisingly good on sandwiches, mashed potatoes and stuffing. This might be a long interview. Eggs are good on sandwiches.
Q: Want me to come back to this question if you think of more things as we go on?
I’m not done yet. I like spreads, like pesto or chipotle things. I guess barbecue sauce too. Sliced jalapeños! Burritos.
Q: Burritos on sandwiches?
Burritos are a form of sandwich. Burrito is Mexican for sandwich. So I guess rice and beans and salsa, too. Sliced apples?! Paninis. And…sausages. Also, burnt fried cheese scrapings.
Q: Do you think women belong in the kitchen?
You know the right answer, just put that down.
Q: Do you think I can handle the grill?
Better than I can. Yeah. I don’t think it’s anything special. It runs on gas, not testosterone.
Q: Is there anything else you want to talk about?
Yes. I wonder if macaroni and cheese is good on a sandwich. Also, spinach is good on them. Spinach and brie, and caramelized onions, and pizzas are great. Pizzas with EVERYTHING, like chili. And pineapples.
Q: Will you make me a margarita?
No? I don’t want you throwing up all over the place.
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